Yeap, that's a genuine smile right there. I'm still a little cold and still carry a cold ice layer around me when it comes to emotions. But yea, I can smile again genuinely. Yes, there's laughter, genuine laughter. Thought this day would never come, it wasn't easy but I'm here standing, living, working, doing all I can. Sometimes it's still very hard but I found out I'm stronger than I thought I was, plus occupying my mind with books, music, other people... does keep memories away.Today, tho, I cherish one memory. The day he entered my life. Sounds sick, crazy, insane...but truth is, I wouldn't be half of who I am today if there wasn't for him. Dude taught me many things, dude made me discover many things but beyond anything, dude pushed me towards growth, and that's a blessing. I know I was in the dark for a while, but I guess that's part of life, plus he never meant to hurt me. I'm not mad at him anymore, although I still am sad. If I start thinking about it too much I get overly emotional, overwhelmed by sadness, but growing up has taught me that it all depends on me. It's a choice I have to make everyday when I get up, it's on me. It took me a while to understand, but then you start forgeting everything. I'm happy, I'm doing many things...and yea, a broken heart can sometimes make you go for the wrong decisions. I get to make wrong decisions, shoot, I deal with the consequences. From four years until today I feel as if I'm almost a woman. I still have a long way to go, maybe not that long, but I'm 19, I got two jobs, I go to school, I'm responsible... I pay my bills! hahaha (ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT) ~I really do. On December 22nd, 2004 a choice was made for me, not by me... and as crazy as it may sound I thank God for putting such a wonderful person in my life. Yes, he broke my heart into pieces, but he's definetely made me a better person for many reasons that I see no point in explaining. I'm stronger now. I know I'm more capable than I thought I were, which means I'll keep challenging myself, will keep it moving. I'm thankful. Thankful for having 365 opportunities a year to build a different future and to shape a new Georgia. Thankful for having a wonderful family that even though doesn't understand me at all times, loves me unconditionally. Thankful for each and every smile I'm able to crack, each and every good laughter I can still get...Thankful for being loved by so many people genuinely.. Thankful for being given all the opportunities that were handed to me...Thankful for living in a beautiful country where people just simply shine... Thankful for having truthful friends...Thankful for every tear I shed and had my girl dry. Thankful for everything that makes me smile, and for all of those that once made the effort to have me smile.
I'm deeply thankful today.
Today, December 22nd, 2008, I celebrate love and I celebrate life. I celebrate growth and all opportunities for improvement that I have been given!
Cheers to love! Cheers to life! Cheers...
"I gotta thank the Lord two times:
One just for being here,
The other everyday waking up, getting fresh air..."
Big Kuntry
